Slamming Doors...

If you haven't read the ministry blog I encourage you to do so now so that you are updated a little more about what's up with the adoption. The below post was written as it is dated. I wanted you all to know why we are no longer adopting from Kenya. I also wanted to give you a little glympse into what was happening in our hearts during all of this. I will try to be better about updating you all and answering as many of your questions as possible. Really, if there is something you don't understand or that I don't explain well, please just leave a comment and ask! I think I would rather be asked about them here on the blog than in person. Sound weird? Or does it sound like I am emotionally unstable? I guess I'm not sure how sensitive I'm going to be about it when we get back. We thought last time we boarded the plane to come back to Africa that when we returned we would meet all of you at the airport holding our child(ren). So here it is, raw as ever...

August 19,2009

Yesterday, it appeared a door was shut... to us it seemed as though it was slammed shut. I'm writing this as my emotions are fresh and my wounds are deep, however, the peace truly has surpassed my understanding.

As you may have read in my previous post I wrote Monday morning- we were scheduled to get our fingerprints done at the embassy Wednesday morning. I was a bit confused about filing the i800 in the US b/c that wasn't what I was told by our country coordinator. Monday night, I was so excited about Chris going to his first mens group meeting with our new church. I think he was a little hesitant, but I knew he needed to go so I raised his hand for him in church Sunday when they were doing a head count. Sara and I hung out at the house with the OSU group. Chris and Graig both came back so excited and pumped about their new found friends. Chris had a huge smile on his face and said "you aren't going to believe this! God is so great!" He told me he had met a guy who works at the embassy and was kind of a "big man" who knew all about the i800 b/c he works with human rights. He said we did need to file it in the US and said we could email him any time with questions. So you betcha- next day I sent him an email to check into what the lady had told me about "warning [me] about the delay of the i800." Later that afternoon (Tuesday), I decided to take my Sunday afternoon nap since I was cooking all day Sunday. I just wanted some time to read which usually leads to falling asleep. Chris had to run a few ministry errands so he left me read-sleeping. When he returned he gently woke me up and told me he needed me to sit up and wake up because he had something really important to tell me. He proceeded to tell me that before I emailed our friend, he had already been checking into this that morning. Then he got my email and knew he needed to call Chris and update him on what's going on with the whole situation. As painful as he knew it would be for us to hear it, he said he had to tell us.

It appears as though no one has been approved for the i800 (we were the first with our Kenyan and US agency). There are people who work at the embassy who have been waiting on theirs for almost a year now. Kenya wanted to be Hague accredited with the US, however they are noncompliant with Hague requirements which is "no contact with the child until after court process". Kenya says no way they are changing. Therefore they will likely be closing Kenya to the US. Unfortunately, we are caught up in the middle of all this. Fortunately, Our God is so big and has a wonderful plan for Team Thompson. This is brand new news that both of our agencies are completely clueless about. CAS is scrambling for answers. That night after our weeping session, we decided we needed to tell the Austin's as it could involve them as well. We were very concerned for our friends as they already were with their little girl. However they were grandfathered in with their old application and under the i600.

Our friend told us to go ahead with our fingerprint appointment as scheduled. We awoke at 5:30 the next morning. As we got ready in silence and gathered our things I felt Chris sort of watching me and waiting on me. As we made eye contact he reached out his hand for me. We knelt before the Lord and commited all of this to Him. We asked for peace and guidance only from Him. As we sat in the lobby awaiting our appointment a familiar face walked in. It was Matt Mucher whose parents are part of our accountability team. He was so nice to take us to the cafeteria to eat while we waited. He then sent Elizabeth, whom our appointment was with, to fetch us in the cafe. Afterward our fingerprinting she called our new church friend to meet us. He was super busy (he is the #3 person at the embassy!) but took the time to take us back to the cafeteria and insisted on buying us a cup of coffee. We talked more and he kept saying how sorry he was to tell us all this news. He also told us horror stories of children having to be given back b/c they would never obtain US citizenship. What we kept trying to reinterate to him was that he was such a blessing! I can't imagine going so far in this process as to have actually met our child to begin raising him to later find out he would never receive US citizenship and they would have to take him back to the orpahage. I'm pretty sure that would be the end of Lindy Thompson's sanity.

As I grieved our loss I began throwing questions out "Does God EVER intend us to be parents?", "Will I ever know what it's like to love like my mother has loved me?", "Will I ever get the opportunity to raise little missionaries?", "Are God's intentions for it to ALWAYS just be Chris and I?", "I thought we heard right! I thought You said Kenya." I spoke aloud my raw emotions and began searching scripture asking God to show me His heart, though I knew it deep down. God's heart is definitely for orphans, widows, and the oppressed. His word is very clear about that. God wants us to be parents or He wouldn't have given us such intense desires. God DOES want us to adopt children for He has adopted us! Adoption is at the core of our savior's heart!! And maybe we did hear right and everything will turn around for Kenya. Maybe we did hear wrong, but God wanted us to learn from this. And I'm okay if we heard wrong, because I've also heard right before. Whether we heard right or wrong we are learning more how to discern His voice.

After talking to Sara, she also encouraged me by a simple reminder. She said that not everyone has a heart for orphans. And not everyone who has a heart for them brings them into their home to raise and bring up as their own. God is going to use our passion b/c He has given us these hearts for embracing orphans.

I am waiting to post this because Chris and I have decided to keep this to ourselves for the time being. We need much time to sit on the steps of our souls to pray about what God will lead us to next. We are apart now for 2.5 days to have alone time with the Lord. (which is virtually impossible in NBO)

We are praying in our time apart that God will give us some clarity as to whether to continue on with Kenya- risking more heartache, money, and disappointment; or whether we should change countries which, for us, would mean changing agencies and also loosing money. Either way we are loosing time and money, but praying God's answer will be in His supreme timing and not a minute sooner.

This is one truth I know:

Children don't come without labor pains...

...but where the heck is my epidural!

October 2, 2009

Now it's 6 weeks later and we have applied to adopt from Rwanda through AWAA. We are waiting to hear back from them. Then it's back to Little Angels to amend our homestudy. Then we will be able to file our i600a.

Why Rwanda?

Most of you who know me, know that I have literally wept for these countries who have fallen victim to genocide. I've just recently gotten to where I don't burst into tears when I meet sudanese people. Back in 2007 when I was reading numerous books about genocide in Sudan and Rwanda we were also looking into different adoption agencies. We found AWAA and at the time their Rwanda program was so new it wasn't even on their website. It really interested us, but we were turned off by the fact that it was a pilot program.

I am very impressed with how Rwanda has recovered from the genocide there in 1994. Which is more than I can say for Sudan. Rwanda has come SO far and worked hard for it. Maybe one day the war will truly cease in Sudan, they will build up an infrastructure, have homes for orphans and we can adopt babies from there as well!

Oh there are so, so many children all over this world who need families!